Sum of Mum

School Holidays; Blogtoberfest Days 5 and 6

2011-10-06T12:08:00.000+11:00

It's school holidays around here. I'm struggling with a cold, oh the blocked nose! I'm really just shuffling through my days. But The Bubster is doing just fine!

Remember those days of having no front teeth? Well here we are! It doesn't take long to get a little bigger does it.

Retro Goodness - blogtoberfest day IV

2011-10-04T10:25:00.002+11:00

It's Blogtoberfest! Hello to all who are participating and who have visited my blog for the first time and thank you to Tinniegirl for another year festering!! I'm a few days late getting started but I have a good excuse (honest!) I had a Minuet and Mazurka dance workshop this weekend. 9am to 5pm nonstop minueting and mazurka-ing for 3 days, followed every night by a collapse on the couch with a glass of wine and takeaway.

The calves have been complaining but sore calves do not keep this dancer down! We finished our weekend wandering Floriade in 18th and 19th century clothing, bursting into a minuet or two on any open lawn available. Pictures will hopefully be forthcoming!

In keeping with Tinniegirl's post today, I wanted to share some of my retro goodness, vintage Barbie clothes! I've been whipping these outfits up for the upcoming fete at my son's school, where 3 of us mum's run the craft stall. I've been busy busy busy. You will see!

To take us out for today, here's a little bit of Justin Timberlake, doing Marvin Gaye. :-) You just can't look at these outfits without a little Marvin Gaye and JT is rather gorgeous, one has to admit. :-) Give it up!

Spring is here!

2011-08-31T10:42:00.001+10:00

The trees are blooming, the daffodil's are bright and beautiful, my anemone's are lovely. It's so fun to see Spring on it's way.

I'm busy preparing for the craft stall for our annual school fair in October. I'm immersed in making bags, Barbie clothes, felt food, capes, placemats and coasters, tie hats, tutu's, helmets, and just recently finished 30 aprons! I'm on a roll.

And importantly, I finally tidied up my art space so I can actually utilise the area properly. I've tackled the mountains of paper that can so easily accumulate; chucked and shredded and filed. Still have more to do there but Yeah! for getting started!

I guess I'm Spring cleaning.

I need to find a job or some work. I've felt so unsure about how to do this. It's been years since I've actually worked. I often think about starting up an online business selling my stuff but perhaps lack the chutzpah to really pull that off. I probably wouldn't make much extra money anyway. (see, there I go shooting myself in the foot before starting). But I do need some income. We have had so many extra expenses this year for our son, it's really cutting in to our savings for our house deposit. I feel quite intimidated by this. I just don't know where to start.

And lastly, a cat has been visiting us. It seems he wants us as his family. He comes every day, several times a day. The bubster just loves him. We are not allowed pets in our rental, which I always think is so mean. We are decent, tidy people and know how to take care of an animal properly. But when I asked last year if we could have a pet, our owner said no. Our son really needs the companionship of a friendly pet. This cat, who we've called Whitely (he's white), is so friendly, eager and chatty. He's lovely. It's another reason to get our house built as soon as possible, so we can be free from the landlords!!!

Whitely, the neighbours dog Otto, and the Bubster.

Right Where I am Project: 12 years and one day

2011-07-26T12:48:00.004+10:00

Lemons from our lemon tree. Usually there are just one or two worthy of picking. This year, a full tree. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, I chose to make several tart lemon custards instead.

This post is written as participation in Angie's, from Still Life With Circles, very beautiful blog project, Right Where I am. Such a good idea. Thank you. It's bringing me out of my blog hibernation.

Yesterday was Søren's 12th birthday. Søren was born 12 years ago but died 2 1/2 days later from an ecoli infection that he contracted before birth. 12 years sounds like a long time doesn't it. 12 years. It feels both near and far. Time is weird isn't it.

I've been spending the last few days looking at my old journals and the photos of Søren that we have - so few, never enough, never enough. Shouldn't there be more? I always wish I could find one that I didn't know about, to just turn over a page, and surprise! Wow! A new photo. I'd like this mystery photo to be perfectly clear, the result of a steady hand capturing the details of our beautiful boy, not the shaking, shocked hands that tried desperately 12 years ago to find, through blurry eyes, the right moments to save. I'd also like this camera to be a sharp, finely tuned digital camera that could have captured his long long eyelashes, or his beautifully shaped mouth, or exquisite brow, or compact little ears or his long fingers. Perfect.

But we didn't have this. And we don't have the mystery photo now. As absurd as it sounds, I have to periodically take the time to feel the disappointment of no new photos, even though of course I know that all the years of my life will be lived without a new photo. And really, it's the 12 year old I want to see.

I know too that my blurry or disappointing images are better than no image, which is what my sister got. Nothing. No photos. She didn't even get to hold her daughter.

In Søren's journal I found this entry, written sometime within the first month of his death; I didn't have the energy to date it:

She (our nurse) asked me if I was getting to spend time with you whenever I wanted. I thought it was a thoughtful question. Some people I expect, would be uneasy about being around a dead baby. I never thought I would have to face such a possibility in such an intimate way, to ever have to consider what it meant. I discovered though, that being with you made me feel calmer for a time. It was reassuring to know that you actually existed, were real. That you had weight and substance. That you filled my arms in a certain way. I could sit and look at you for hours, your eyelashes, your fingernails, your mess of a nose, beaten by the ventilator. Without this time with you, it's just a perpetual nightmare that should be happening to someone else. I could hold you and know that you were real and simultaneously know that you were gone.

12 years later, the hold is still there. The connection I made with other mothers from that time is still there. I still remember. I still wonder. Somedays I wonder a lot. Other days less so. So much other loss has occurred during that 12 years; Imogen, Heloise, Roku and Seven. Sometimes it's a blurry overwhelming mess of loss which defies description. Other times, it's more matter of fact, it's my life. It's part of my large tapestry that takes a lifetime to create and complete.

And our special gain too; Magnus. Our cherished lad has been wonderful and challenging at the same time. I'm discovering (well it's not that much of a surprise but I finally have some resources) that he's a highly sensitive child and have been spending time learning about that as well as about audio-processing disorder. I haven't really had energy to write about this side of daily life or even known what to say about it. Some days are actually really hard and I feel like a crap parent with no sense of patience or consideration. It's hard, by no means as hard as my losses but hard none-the-less. I've been eating a lot of tart lemon custard.

Yesterday for Søren's birthday we watched Star Wars and played with our Star Wars lego. Magnus made an ice cream cake with sprinkles, all by himself. I was so proud of him.

The final scene in The Return of the Jedi, where Luke looks back and sees Obiwan Kenobi and Anikin watching over him from the world beyond always squeezes my heart. If our children could see us, I hope they would be proud.

I'm still here!

2011-05-30T10:38:00.000+10:00

I'm still around. Just not bloggin' much. It's a strange thing to feel so wordless. I can't seem to find them. It's not that my head isn't full of them, just that they aren't coming out through my fingers. I'm trying to find a way forward through this but it's a slow process.

In the meantime, a few photos of the Bubster, the little guy who is much bigger and for whom time does not stand still. We just bought him 2 new pairs of shoes yesterday. It always amazes me to see the new shoes, so much bigger and shinier than the previous pair. His foot has gone up two sizes since last Spring. That amazes me.

The Bubster, around 18 months.

The Bubster, a few weeks ago, 6 years.

I'm off to work on Barbie clothes now, my latest obsession and plan for using up small scraps. I've been smiling a lot. :-)

Cute???

2011-01-11T09:53:00.000+11:00

Why yes! We are!!!

Soon to be at Shop Handmade. :-)

Happy New Year to all

2011-01-01T12:19:00.000+11:00

Christmas 1964

Me, with my brother and sisters. Boy, that was a long time ago!!

Here's to another year. I hope it is a healthy and happy one for all.

It's birthday month

2010-12-18T09:18:00.001+11:00

It's birthday month for Magnus. He turned 6 years old in early December. How it all goes by! His actual party is tomorrow. We will be having it at Kids Pantry, a lovely cooking school here in Canberra. We snuck a peek at the venue a few days ago. It's a beautiful place surrounded by trees and gardens. I think it should be a really fun party. I can' wait!

Working away the day

2010-10-21T09:07:00.000+11:00

We are on the home stretch of the final week before the Spring Fair. I feel revved up, sewing machine waiting in the wings. I am about to go work on a few more of these:

Poor little knight is tired........

Blogtoberfest Day 13! (on Day 14)

2010-10-14T13:02:00.000+11:00

Whoa, time is flying! I'm not getting on here every day (really??), as you can see. :-) But Tinniegirl has announced Day 13 to be Blogtoberfest Self Portrait day. :-) I cannot pass that up.

Self Portrait, Age 9 - crayon, chalk and watercolour

I thought I'd share a few self-portraits that I've done over the course of my lifetime. It's something I've always done. I remember as a child, lining up my dolls and drawing their portraits, choosing different clothing or hairstyles, and then doing my own.

Self Portrait, KCAI - Ink, watercolour, conte

When I went off to KCAI, one of my foundation year courses was to do a portrait a day for 5 weeks. 5 weeks is a long time when you are doing a portrait a day! It was probably my most favourite foundation year workshop because it was so illuminating to watch everyone work. Looking at oneself in the mirror every day, scrutinising every detail, anguishing over every accuracy or inaccuracy, battling against the demon of time - it was exhausting. But also, the most fun I've ever had in my life. All of us in the workshop would be in the studio late into the night, listening to music, chatting, surging through. We each learned how to let go of unnecessary details and get to the core of what we were trying to uncover about ourselves. A self-portrait could be a achieved in 3 lines if they are the right ones.

Movement Self-Portrait, used in the performance of "Getting off in Chicago?"

My next self-portrait study came to me through the medium of dance while a member of the Susan Warden Dancers. Incorporated into a long piece of choreography, each of us was given the task of doing a movement self-portrait. What did this mean? I had never thought about my movement as being another form of self-portraiture. As I watched the other dancers improvising and choreographing their self-portrait phrases, I could see each of them so clearly. One dancer just laid down on the floor - his self-portrait was about refusing to move. How perfect for him. Making difficult decisions challenged him, especially ones that would compromise the feelings of others. Mine evolved into an examination of angry outbursts which I found quite confronting. It wasn't how I wanted to be inside but yet it was a true representation of my emotional landscape and one that I've faced time and again over the years.

Butterfly Boy - Watercolour and conte

I returned to formal portraiture after our son Soren died unexpectedly from an infection acquired at birth. My craving to know him better helped me to produce numerous paintings and drawings of him and myself as his mother, incorporating my grief into my life as an artist. At the worst time in my life, I created some of my best and most loved work. I simply did not know any other way to release my mothering desires than to carve out his likeness on paper. It was my way of spending time with him as I tried to make sense of life.

Mummy and Magnus, by Magnus

Our 5 year old recently drew this portrait of the two of us, walking hand in hand. It's on the fridge as a reminder to me to be a good mommy. I love him so much, handful that he is. I find myself thinking a lot about my movement self portrait of years ago and how hard it is to completely change a core ingredient that makes us who we are. I also remember the lesson I learned in the self portrait workshop, to let go of unnecessary detail. I spend time most nights reflecting on the day, taking a moment to go over any conflicts and thinking through better solutions. I cue myself to step back more, let him find his way. I think about making memories, good memories. Every single day is a good memory opportunity. Let go of the detail. See the overall picture of your life.

Me, this morning, surrounded by tulle. It's Spring Fair tutu making time. 2 weeks to go!

Costumers Picnic

2010-10-11T16:50:00.000+11:00

The ACT Costumers Guild picnic at Lanyon House, Canberra. Just a quick little get together to see the homestead and to wear our gear.

I am wearing my bright blue 1873 Polonaise, with walking skirt. It was not that hard to make. I plan to add in detachable lower sleeves and a detachable bodice for my neck line. I only had a hunk of lightweight cotton fabric to protect myself from the sun. I hate getting sunburnt on my chest. Yuck.

Once I've made a proper Victorian corset it will all hang much more smoothly and beautifully. Corsets are so awesome. Really!!

Sharon and Karin.

My The Searchers pose.

Day 4 blogtoberfest

2010-10-04T21:47:00.000+11:00

We stayed home today. The Bubster has had a continuous horrible cough. It just keeps lingering.

So although he is still a bit young for it, we bought Star Wars to watch. I was going to hold off until he was 8 years old or so but the Hubster brought it home and well, I can't very well say 'no' then. I guess the Hubster hadn't known my secret plan.

Ah well, never mind. Boy, was the bubster ever thrilled! Fun day for HIM!

This photo was not taken today, but it might as well have been as he was in the same clothes with the same bowl and the same slippers. LOL It was a bad cough day from a few months ago.

It's Blogtoberfest!

2010-10-04T01:33:00.001+11:00

Blogtoberfest has begun! And wouldn't you know, my internet has been down since the 1st. What a start hey! Not fair! But hopefully it is now stable, albeit a bit slow. We will manage.

Talma Wrap from Truly Victorian Patterns

My weekend has been taken up with some historic sewing. I've been participating in a Victorian sewing weekend with Lynne Cook, president of the Australian Costumers Guild. We are making Talma Wraps which are cape like outer garments from the 1870's. Mine will look fetching over my 1873 bustle. I just need to figure out the trimmings. I was also considering doing some applique but am unsure of what would be historically accurate.

I can't wait to wear my wrap to pick up a few things at the grocery store!

Springtime!

2010-09-24T11:16:00.001+10:00

Garden, 2010, originally uploaded by sum of mum.

Springtime!

2010-09-24T10:59:00.000+10:00

Shoot, almost a month between posts! Busy busy lemon squeezy!

Here is the beginning of our garden. I made the MOTH get up from his nap and make these garden beds last weekend because lets face it, without a place to plant, there will be no garden! And how do you like my compost? I made this over the winter. :-) We will finish the planting this weekend. I know I'm a bit late but better late than never.

Our school fair is only a month away. I've been counting down the weeks and there are not many left now. I think it will be a great one and can't wait to share what we've been doing. My poor sewing machine is really getting a workout. I talk to it every day and tell it, "You can do it! You can do it!" She's really stretching her muscles and putting in the effort without many complaints. I think she needs a trip outside to watch the garden grow while we sew. :-)

Prawn pasta anyone? At Shop Handmade!

2010-08-28T10:23:00.007+10:00

Prawn and mushroom pasta

Here are my latest creations - Prawn pasta with shimeji and oyster mushrooms with a side of peas. The Bubster has been really into Masterchef so I thought I'd 'Masterchef' up my felt food. :-)

AND......drum roll..........News! Starting in September, my creations will be on sale at Shop Handmade here in Canberra! Yes, I've finally done it. I've finally gotten myself out there. :-) So in case you thought I'd dropped off the end of the earth, I haven't! I've just been too busy making felt food to blog.

Now, it's time to rest my felt food elbow. A little R & R this weekend because the big push is on in the final leg of preparations for the Craft stall at the Bubsters school fair! Only 9 more weeks to go! Busy busy busy.

Pita sandwich, yum.....

3 dimensional lettuce leaves

Who's that handsome fellow??

2010-08-02T13:00:00.002+10:00

A secret admirer

We attended a beautiful wedding last weekend. One of the attendants caught this moment on film. Yep, that is our boy admiring the bride. He later gave her a flower that he plucked from a blooming bush and then at the end of the reception, gave her another flower! Definitely impressed!

It was such a beautiful day. I'm so pleased that we were invited to celebrate with the happy couple. Cheers all around!

MIA....again!

2010-07-22T10:51:00.000+10:00

We've had to return my computer to the Hubster's former department so I haven't had my own computer for almost two weeks! And then, my mobile died! But then it was reborn again! Go figure!

Gee, it's hard being forced back to the dark ages. I've been virtually unreachable, unless of course, someone were to use the land line. Or knock on the door. It's a ready made opportunity to turn to creative pursuits though!

We will get ourselves sorted out soon and have some fluidity again with our electronic media. Aside from this glitch, Winter has been progressing nicely. I enjoy a little cold weather. It's the North American in me. I managed to squeeze a proper snowball into shape from the frost that I scrapped from the car this morning. The Boy was very pleased indeed and brought it to school for show and tell. I'm really craving some snow fun. I may need to get a proper scrapper though. The plastic kitchen spatula works ok but I might want to flip some pancakes again one day.

We've had the dreaded Canberran Extreme Sore Throat around our house which has lingered for many weeks but we seem to be at the end of that now. I hope nothing new is around the corner so that we catch a break from the winter illnesses for a bit!

Perhaps too, you've noticed (anyone still out there?) that I've changed my comments to moderated. I've been getting some spam on this blog and I don't know how to prevent it. I've chosen to moderate the comments so that at least readers don't have to read it! Any tips are welcome!

Final note; we've been approved from the Philippines for adoption. It has taken us 3 1/2 years so far to get to this point in the process. Now we will wait for up to 3 years for allocation. It's all so very long isn't it. In many ways, I feel ambivalent about it and can't picture it happening. I think that the amount of time and the effort it takes to move forward zaps away the initial exuberance one feels at the onset.

A friend loaned me the book Only Child and I've been finding the author's research enlightening. It turns out all the negativity to which one can be subjected about single child families is myth. Knowing this has helped me to feel empowered and less a victim of societies preconceived notions. On this day today, we are the family we are and that is ok. If we remain this unit of 3, that will be ok.

Trivia Night last night

2010-06-27T18:33:00.001+10:00

Here we are, as Dr. Evil and Foxxy Cleopatra. Shazam people!

We had fun. I made Kieron's outfit and made myself a skirt out of some 70's fabric that I brought back from the States from my mom's.

I've been really busy lately! I want to join in on the My Creative Space meme but just haven't had the camera running. It's funny how much blogging relates to the taking photos. When I don't take photos, I don't blog.

So much to take photos of though; like my 1873 bustle gown that I made a few weeks ago. Or the soft sculpture cupcakes I recently designed! Much going on!

A Reluctant Handsome

2010-05-31T12:56:00.000+10:00

"Mom, will this outfit make me look too handsome? Cause I don't want to be too handsome, not like when you dress me for birthday parties and stuff. If I'm a little handsome that is ok but not too handsome. I don't look too handsome do I??"

My word. I did not know it was such a hardship to be handsome. :-)

5 1/2 years old and not TOO handsome today.

Tutu time

2010-05-19T11:52:00.000+10:00

I've been making tutu's for this years spring fair at school. I like them more and more. I think they've been turning out beautifully, especially the two toned ones. I'm feeling pretty stoked!

And no one we know over here at this blog is wearing that tutu. So don't even go there!

The Sunday Scan

2010-05-09T15:12:00.000+10:00

I'm trying to do some scanning of Master Five's drawings. I just think they are fascinating. My scanner is giving me the *you know whats* though today so I have managed only a few scans but that's better than nothing.

Check out these drawings. I love the detail.

Now, check out this Monoprint by Cy Twombly. Don't you love the similarities! I love Cy Twombly. He's one of my favourite artists. And now, I have my own little Cy at home with me. :-)

Jane Austen Festival

2010-05-07T11:23:00.000+10:00

Here we all are, dancing away at the Saturday night Ball at the Jane Austen festival. I'm the one in orange, mid left hand side.

Look like fun? It was! Visit the Jane Austen Festival website and watch the clip from the National Nine News. The whole weekend was a wonderful time of dancing, sewing, and more dancing. I think I may even be starting to get these dances down now. Sort of?

Festival goers came from all over Australia, many with full Jane Austen wardrobes. Amazing! I only managed to complete one dress but I have plans for two more and a long jacket/pelisse (can't get used to calling a jacket that yet. I'll get there!)

The event's culminated in a Sunday stroll along the lake followed by a Regency afternoon tea with some final dancing of favourites. If this strikes your fancy, come along next year!

Wow, been away!

2010-04-30T12:10:00.000+10:00

Easter Sunday 2010, Sioux Falls SD

I've had so much going on the past several months that blogging just seemed to slip from my grasp. I'm hoping to find a better hold now and get back to it. I miss all my blogging friends.

Here's to reconnecting! I hope everyone has been well.

Warmly,
Karin

P.S. Meet the Easter Bunny. I saw him while I was visiting my mother. He was riding down Cliff Avenue in Sioux Falls, SD on the back of a Harley. I guess he still had some eggs to deliver.

Christa Bowen

2010-03-20T04:52:00.000+11:00

Yesterday, I learned that a very dear friend of mine was killed in a car accident. She was only 35 years old and leaves behind a rock of a husband and two darling 6 year old boys. Today is her funeral. To say that life is unfair is an understatement.

I am thinking of you today, Christa. I cannot believe that I will never have the pleasure of your quick wit or the support of your undying loyalty again. It was only a few days ago that she wished me gentle days for the lead up to our anniversary week. And only a few weeks ago, she protected me from a verbal assault online. Christa had the backs of all her friends. A tiny 4 foot 11 inch warrior, she was. Feisty, funny, quick witted, loyal, cheerful. That's Christa.

I'm so very very sorry. My heart is with her family, today and always.

Zzzzzzzzzz

2010-03-08T20:22:00.002+11:00

Lizzie the sewing machine has beeen grrrrrrrrreat!

You'll see. ;-)

Meet my new sewing machine

2010-03-02T10:32:00.001+11:00

She's my first Australian sewing machine. She's a Brother BC2500. I've been using my US machines for the last 12 years with a transformer. It was time for an upgrade, especially as she was half price! I'm excited but also a little anxious. Something new!!

So, what should I call her? Hm............

Silent

2010-02-22T15:55:00.000+11:00

I don't seem to have much to say these days. I don't know why. I feel the need to confine my thoughts rather than share them. I don't know why. Perhaps I am slightly overwhelmed. Maybe I am slightly depressed. All I know is I'm not blogging.

I guess we all take breaks but I'd like to get back here properly. I miss you all.

Work from 2009

2010-01-26T16:20:00.002+11:00

2009, originally uploaded by sum of mum.

My work, 2009. It seems there should be more? Maybe I haven't uploaded everything to flickr.

Here is to 2010! Creativity shall reign!

Happy Australia Day

2010-01-26T15:43:00.002+11:00

Nothing much happening around here today but I have had a chance to look at some of my favourite bloggers and just touch base here. Through one of them I clicked on a link to this marvelous pattern for a crocheted shopping bag. Just gorgeous! (I can't seem to figure out how to post the pic for a visual reference so you will just have to trust me, it's great).

I can't wait to get going on one. I hope they work up quickly because the more of these the better! Can you envision all the colours!

Darn Facebook!

2010-01-16T23:49:00.003+11:00

How does everyone split their time between Facebook and blogging? I can't seem to do both right now and lately it's been fun to catch up with long lost friends. Some silly stuff going on. I need another me around here to pick up the slack.

It's been a lazy January summer holidays sort of time. We haven't done much so there is not much to share.

We did go to Sydney to see friends and I observed this interaction between the bubster and one of his friends:

The bubster asks, "Would you like to get married?"

His friend considers and then chirps, "Ok!"

Then she begins to regale him with all the details of the wedding, what kind of dress she wants and the crown she will wear. How many jewels it will have and all. Then she prattles on about the honeymoon and where they will go and what she will wear. Etc. This all goes on for an extended period of time.

Then, she shoots her little pointed finger towards the baby pram she was pushing and demands, "Husband! Push this pram!"

The bubster threw up his arms and exclaimed, "Oh why did I even ASK this question! Ooooooooohhhhhh!"

Ha ha ha!!! I'd say many a men has pondered the very same thought. It looks like 5 year olds are funny too.

Mom's Christmas present

2009-12-30T09:50:00.001+11:00

I finally managed to post this scarf off to Mom yesterday. It's late I know. But maybe it's nice to get something in January??

I made it from the knitting wool that I brought back from her stash. I thought it might be fun for her to have me make her something from her collection. I thought a nice light lace pattern would be good as then she could wear it around inside.

Merry Christmas Everyone

2009-12-24T10:31:00.000+11:00

Have a lovely Christmas, Everyone. I'll be back in full force in the New Year. 2010!!!! Yowza!!!

Birthday Boy

2009-12-02T11:07:00.000+11:00

We now have a 5 year old in our house. The bubster turned 5 yesterday. I think he's beautiful, but I could be biased.

The party will be in about 10 days. Yikes! I'm not on top of things this year!

New book purchase

2009-11-24T11:27:00.000+11:00

I came upon this fantastic book at Borders, Knitting Lingerie Style by Joan McGowan-Michael. Wow, it's beautiful. I just had to have it. Luckily, there was a 25% off sale that very day!

If ever you thought you'd like to knit yourself something beautiful and sexy, this is the book for it! I really love the Bed Jacket, it's just stunning. There are many lovely camisole patterns as well. I can't wait to get started. Visit Joan's blog at White Lies Knits

Did I ever show you this?

2009-11-23T12:04:00.000+11:00

This is a camera that the bubster made over winter. I find it hilarious, especially when he does the shutter noise to accompany his photo taking experience. Shhhhhhhhhhhheck! Too funny!!

He's holding it rather well!

Adoption stuff

2009-11-20T11:21:00.000+11:00

I don't talk about it much, but the Hubster and I are in the process of adopting internationally. It's a long process. Hence, the lack of things to say about it from me. I just really don't know what to say and feel hesitant to go into it much, in case we just don't make it in the end. I guess it's a self-preservation mechanism.

But to share a little background, we'd started this process well over two years ago in NSW. We'd prepared our application for the NSW adoptions unit but since we were moving to the ACT, we were advised to wait to hand it in there. We mistakenly thought our file would easily transfer over. It didn't. When I called the ACT unit after our move I was politely informed that we'd need to prepare a new application after a waiting period of 6 months to establish residence. So what could we do, we waited. Then the new application had entirely different requirements so it really was like starting all over again. We got that in just after Christmas last year. We finally completed all the required home visits and at the end of this July, we were approved by the ACT Adoptions Unit. That feels like a huge accomplishment in itself!

About a month later we were finally given our package to prepare our dossier for the Philippines. We'd hoped to have it all in before embarking on our trip to the states in October, but in that available month's time I got a bronchial infection, Kieron had a job interview (got the job by the way) and then we had to prepare for the trip. It didn't get done. It feels like the tortoise and the hare here! We just keep plodding along!

So, we've been back exactly 2 weeks. Time to get the ball rolling again I think. This week, I've been periodically working on my Self-report questionnaire, one of the documents required to complete the dossier. Questions range from asking about my childhood/family experiences to what dreams I had the night before. The last question is:

If you suddenly have a two week paid vacation, what is the first thing you will do?

I don't know why, but this stumps me a bit. Hmmmmm. I'm probably thinking about it too hard.

What would you do on your two week paid vacation?

The Bubster loves this!

2009-11-12T11:06:00.001+11:00

I'm just so pleased that my little son loves old classic films. Maybe I am a good influence after all? He thinks this scene from the Marx Brothers film Duck Soup is just hilarious. He's been watching it over and over this week.

I've heard parents say, "Oh my child won't watch old B/W films. We just don't bother." I guess I look at it differently. When we watch an old film, it's an opportunity to step into history and get a feel for the time period in which something is made. Sometimes we have very deep discussions about social change or what might have been going on historically to influence the storyline, like in the case of the Marx Brothers with their origins in Vaudeville. It's possible, even with an almost 5 year old!

And it's fun to break out the popcorn and have a few belly laughs while we are at it. I'm looking forward to the day when we attempt to recreate this mirror gag ourselves.

Love these!

2009-11-11T15:52:00.004+11:00

the whole gang, originally uploaded by Fig & Me.

I just love these dolls made by Fig and Me. Just gorgeous colours aren't they? Wow, and then more wow!

Ok, I'm back

2009-11-10T13:29:00.002+11:00

We are back on home territory and I'm attempting to squeeze back into my blogging boots. What a trip. Long story short, during the final 10 days of our time at my mom's, we moved my mother into assisted living. Unbeknown to us, that is what her aged care social worker had expected us to achieve during our time home, although of course, she didn't assume the responsibility of letting us know this ahead of time so we could prepare. I'd been under the impression that it was Mom's decision to make, not mine. Instead the social worker chose to go the 'threatening' phone call route.

I just happened to casually mention to the visiting nurse that Mom wasn't wanting to move into aged care yet. 10 minutes later we get 'the call'. The conversation opened with this,

"We can no longer provide any of our services to your mother. I will be ceasing them all as of today. Your mother will no longer receive a weekly nurse, a senior companion or the lifeline facility. I just wanted to let you know that because your mother will not be moving into assisted living, we can no longer help her as we feel she is unsafe in her home. We've already extending our services longer than we'd planned because we knew you were coming. But since you've failed in making this change for your mother we can no longer provide these services."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Telepathy doesn't work very well for me. I'm just not tuned into that channel apparently. Suppose I hadn't made that comment?

There is more to that conversation. Indeed. In the end, I had the social worker come over to the house. She can't get off easy by just relaying this crap over the phone. Face to face please. Thank you.

As one can imagine, it was a challenge and a half. Put together one rambunctious almost 5 year old who needed much more outdoor time than was possible to give, with one memory impaired octogenarian and you've got yourself an enormous pocketful of challenges, a managerial minefield.

"Grandma didn't remember telling you that story, Bub." Shoulder pat.

"Yes, I know you've heard it before, me too, but Grandma doesn't recall that, plus she likes telling it. It brings her happiness. It's kind of fun to hear it again too, isn't it?" Hopeful look.

"Yes, I understand you don't like to be told things over and over again but try to relax about this. We are here to help Grandma. Let's make sure that Grandma is happy." Another hopeful look.

"Well, I'm sorry if I sound bossy. I'm just trying to explain things from Grandma's point of view." Sigh.......

"Look, I know you don't like bossy but I need your help. I need your cooperation and it would be great if we could all just try to remain cheerful." Grumble grumble........

Etc.

And those were the more promising exchanges. There were some truly awful scenes of intense behaviour that I'm not sure I can even put to words. Sometimes my chest would hurt from the stress of it all.

But in the end, Grandma now lives in lovely accommodation which I think she will like in time. I sensed a bit of 'post performance let down' - what us former dancers might feel after a final performance that you worked 9 months on to then perform only 5 times - but I am hopeful that the staff will help her become involved. When I called yesterday, she'd had a busy day of going to a memorial service at the battleship memorial and then to the church bazaar so it sounds like she's getting out and about and had a great day. That is my greatest fear - that she will just sit in her little apartment and feel abandoned.

I worked hard to do her apartment up cute. It's something I enjoy - especially with downsizing. It was fun to try to figure out what to bring. She has most of her carnival glass there (I brought home to OZ 1 candy dish....), and other lovely treasures. I figured she'd want her treasures. I would. It might be a little over stuffed with treasures but not too bad. She mentioned that she wanted her sewing machine so I will have to send an email to my uncle to see if he can get her to the house to get it.

I managed to bring home a good portion of vintage scraps, half the wool fabric, some large skeins of knitting wool (she used to machine knit) and a couple of unfinished quilts. I brought few breakables home as I just didn't feel confident about their safety. I guess that will be for another trip. I'll probably go back in about 6 months time to help clear the house. Final decisions and all.

Sans the 5 year old though. I know I'll miss him, and so will Grandma, rascally fellow as he is, but my attention will need to be focused in a different direction for a change.

Hi from abroad

2009-10-17T04:36:00.001+11:00

We are halfway through our trip to Grandma's and it's going well. It snowed. In October? What? The bubster got to pull out my old sled and go down the hill. My old sled is something that would be banned now. It's wooden with steel runners - the real deal. He loved it.

Shopping at the grocery store is always a culture shock for me. That and commercials on TV. Yesterday at the grocery one of the items on special was a 4 pack of cinnamon rolls. Buy 1, get one free. The lady behind the display says, "Buy 1, get one free! Ya can't loose with that!" I said, "Yes, in more ways than one!" I don't think she registered my point. Keeping one's weight down will not be easy around here! Mom of course, got the rolls. I of course, had one this morning.

Then yesterday, I found the mother load of wool and vintage fabric scraps. This is a difficult find for the overseas crafter. Yes, I want them. But I live in Australia. Yes, I could pack them all into my second bag on my two bag baggage allowance. But volumetrically speaking, it's really more like a three bag affair. (or more....)

So, I've got an excess of cinnamon buns in one room and an excess of vintage fabric in another. And lets not even think about the knitting wool in the secret stash room..........

Did I mention the exquisite carnival glass dish set too? The possibilities amongst the crockery are a whole other consideration.

Crustaceans

2009-09-29T23:01:00.000+10:00

We needed a little protein in our felt food. Mmmmmm, mmm!

It's a whinge

2009-09-25T10:37:00.001+10:00

I just need to say it. I feel so sad that this last month has been spent being unwell! This is the last month I had before saying goodbye to my afternoons with the Bubster. Next term, he will be going to school for the full day. We didn't get to do any of the things I had hoped we'd be able to do with our final afternoons. And now it's finished. We don't get this time back and I don't get to savour it with another child because there isn't a second or third one coming through. Today, I have an appointment to see the doctor instead of having a final lunch with the other half-day mum's. It would have been the last opportunity to see them for lunch. It's all going to change now.

Can you tell that change is something I find painful? Perhaps it's one of those left over fragments of being a bereaved parent and having things change irreversibly before my eyes, with no way out, just no way out, wondering where to go with that change. I think before that experience of catastrophic change, before I'd ever thought about bereavement, back when I felt invincible, back when I could count on my body, my buoyancy, my strengths, change wasn't as impactful although I've never done it effortlessly.

Risk taking on the other hand, I seem to manage. Moving to NYC with one suitcase and a dream, no where to live, no job but plenty of enthusiasm, worked out great. Getting married to my guy after just 3 months of knowing him and then hopping on the midnight flight out of L.A. to Sydney to join him; yeah sure, no problem. Giving pregnancy one last chance by saying yes to the placement of a trans-abdominal cervical cerlcage in hopes that this final effort would pay out, yes, a risk worth taking. But watching my little miracle boy grow up and become his beautiful independent self, much more difficult that I'd anticipated. Of course, it's my most ardent wish, that he grow up and live a long life. But who'd have thought it would be so hard on the heart at the same time? That these two feelings would co-exist side by side, like matching sofas?

I guess I should try to think of change as being like risk-taking, it's hard to know what lies on the other side of it, but to get there you have to open that door. And this change, this change in my day because the Bubster is growing up, well, we can live with it, can't we. This stab to the heart is survivable, no matter how painful because he's here to do these things. And I feel deeply honoured.

I feel better now.

Knights of the round table unite!

2009-09-24T18:39:00.004+10:00

I am going to have to work really hard to get a good photo of this costume. The Bubster just refuses to let me take some still shots and our camera is too slow to capture a 4 1/2 year old running around in the early evening, swinging a sword.

But at any rate, a few costumes for the spring fair. Only three, sad to say. But if they sell well, there will be more next year!

Must be the mists of Avalon causing that blur, not my camera. Right??

P.S. Still sick. Eerrrrgh!

Hungry?

2009-09-13T17:30:00.001+10:00

For some felt lunch? Well, come on by!

In case you were wondering

2009-09-10T14:17:00.001+10:00

I've been sick. Damn!
This just really blows, man! Dang kid germs anyway!

P.S. Can one get the same cold/flu over again right away? Seems like it to me!

Olga and Ida

2009-08-27T15:10:00.007+10:00

Olga and Ida, originally uploaded by karinandmagnus.

Finally, a few photos of what I've been making lately.
Spring Fair 09, here we come!

Lardee and Ickle

2009-08-27T12:23:00.002+10:00

Don't know if anyone here follows the goings on of the Milk Toof's but the latest two stories are so charming and funny. This woman's work really tugs at my heart strings.

Been dancing again

2009-08-26T23:01:00.004+10:00

I've been dancing again. Not modern dance - although I'd like to get myself moving in that direction too - but historical dance. I was invited to attend a second weekly class and have been enjoying myself immensely. I've discovered that I've missed partnering work. I've never done this kind of partnering, in a formal social dance setting, but it still reminds me of when I was in the dance company and how we would have to work things out together. It's a different experience when someone is specifically relying on you. I'm about 100 years older than many of the dancers but hopefully I'm moving too fast for anyone to notice. :-)

Last week we watched this utube video of a group in the US at Stanford performing the Mazurka Quadrille. I enjoyed it so much that I've been watching it daily ever since. I love watching the fabrics flow and the weaving movement.

Our group has been working on the Mazurka and I tell you what, I'm totally puffed afterwards. I really need to do some stamina work if I'm going to do this historic dance stuff! Onto the Nordic Track it is!

The strangest week

2009-08-21T00:27:00.005+10:00

The internet is just amazing sometimes, isn't it? This week has proven just how amazing. On Monday, I got a Facebook message from a long lost friend, someone I hadn't spoken with in about 19 years. Hang on, has it really been that long since 1990? Huh!! Ackk! Ok, I just need to sit with that number for a minute.

It was lovely to see her name again but she had the most shocking question to ask me. She had heard second hand that a mutual friend of ours had died and she was so bothered by the news. She wanted to know what I knew - if it was in fact, true. It was like a lightening bolt. No, it can't be!

Our mutual friend had been diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, but the last I spoke with her, things seemed good. That was in April. Immediately I started kicking myself for not calling her since then! Surely I can just pick up the phone more often, couldn't I! How did I let that time go by? Stupid stupid!

I immediately go online to see if I can find something, anything, an obit, something. I find nothing. I tried to call, no answer. I leave what will sound like a very bizarre message.

I wrote back to my long lost friend to tell her what I knew, and asked how she came of this news. It turns out that upon asking about our friend, someone had said to someone else who had said to someone else that she had died 2 years ago. Well, that can't be. I just spoke with her in April.

We both keep calling her with no success. Each day, we each try. Nothing. The only thing I can think is that she is on vacation. Then my friend strikes upon something; by another extraordinary coincidence, she sees our friends sister-in-laws name on someone else's friends list! She writes. No answer. As the days pass, even though we know nothing more, I'm feeling more confident that our friend is fine. But still, I'd like it resolved.

Finally! She hears back from the sister-in-law. Yes, she is fine! Whew!

Isn't that extraordinary? She was able to find me and from entirely different countries, we were able to solve this mystery. And how mind blowing to think there are people in the world who think that our friend has died! That blows me away. The Hubster made a joke and said, "Maybe that is why they've stopped sending Christmas cards." ha ha ha!

I'm just so happy to have my friend safe and sound as I pictured her to be. It brings to mind for me how important it is to have an up-to-date list of people to notify in one's will. Living abroad seems so far away at times.

What happens when the greats are gone

2009-08-12T08:53:00.012+10:00

I'm behind in my news. Especially dance news. I just learned last night that Merce Cunningham died on 26th July, 2009.

Perhaps the death of an influencial American choreographer isn't something that makes the headline news in Australia. I wouldn't know because I don't have much time to read the papers to find out. But to find myself so out of the loop came as a jolt. I feel like the last person on earth to know.

I learned of his death when I finally curled up to listen to a Fresh Air with Terry Gross Download - Merce Cunningham - A Life in Movement. I thought it would be about Merce's recent work at BAM -"Nearly Ninety". Instead, I hear he has died. Even though he was 90 years old, it came as a shock to me. Merce just seemed like someone who would live forever.

I never knew Merce personally, but I have met him. His work greatly influenced me. The first time I met him I was 13 years old and had yet to take my first ballet class. I had no idea who I was meeting. Only in retrospect have I realized who I'd met that night in upstate New York in 1976 with my Aunt Lavonne. She had taken my mother, father and I to see the dance company for whom she had worked in NYC. She had done administrative work while completing her masters in Sculpture at Pratt. My aunt was, and still is, a very groovy and cool chic.

I remember the performance being like nothing I had ever seen before, nor was it anything like what I thought dance should be. Being an almost 14 year old from South Dakota with the preconception that dance was limited to the ballet or to musicals meant that I had no formal preparation for what I was about to see. The movement was bizarre to me and the music, even more so. Merce was interested in movement for movement sake, not to tell a story. But I didn't understand that then. My dad fell asleep and snored loudly. It was moritfying on a cellular level. It was hard to concentrate with that going on next to me. The embarrassment I felt from that point onward paralyzed me and I could barely cast my eyes toward the dancers. But. I remembered. Deep down, I remembered and connected on a visceral level.

After finally convincing my mother that I really did want to take dance class, I began at age 16 and devoured it. I'd forgotten all about that odd company in NY and immersed myself in everything ballet.

Fastforward to art school in the 80's. Modern dance happens for me for the first time. It was all because of being presented with that potentially fortuitous human dilemma, 'a fork in the road'. I couldn't get into the ballet class I wanted and so was offered a spot in a modern technique class. At first I was dissappointed but I accepted. I was the only art school student allowed to take class at university (UMKC) with the fulltime dance majors. I'd rush over after my morning studio classes at KCAI, take a modern dance class, then rush back to afternoon studio. That first summer, I attended my first summer workshop in dance. Helen McGehee was the artist in residence. She had been a prominent dancer with the Martha Graham Dance Company. It was my first time learning the Graham Technique. She was probably close to 60 years old at the time and she could still lift her leg up to her ear. I said to myself, Holy cow. That is what I want to be like when I'm her age.

I was introduced to the Cunningham Technique during those 4 years as the "art student" at UMKC and then later in the late 80's, at the Harvard Summer Dance Program. I loved it. I was a member of the Susan Warden Dancers by then, a modern dance company based in Kansas City. Susan was influenced by the Graham Technique although her work was a complete departure from it, using improvisational structures to create movement phrases which were then used within a set work. Through Susan's vision and mentoring, I learned how to look at dance, how to see, how to infuse movement from within. I loved this time in my life with Susan.

During those years, we had the privilege of seeing Merce Cunningham's company perform on many occasions. Merce still performed with his dancers in those days. He could barely move due to arthritis, hobbling around, yet he was by far the most riveting performer to watch. His eyes penetrated out into the audience in a way that made one feel pulled directly to him. He seemed to glow from within. My friend Tracey took this photo from the back of the theatre during a performance. Merce is in the middle.

In NYC, I went to every performance I could during my 5 1/2 years there. In total, I've probably seen the company perform well over a dozen times. Merce's work liberated my mind. I felt free to draw my own conclusions instead of having them spelled out for me. Sometimes a work would leave me feeling wistful, tearful. Other times, restored. One image sticks in my mind of a beautiful male dancer, standing perched over one leg, undulating his arms this way and then that for an extended period of time. There was something very pure about the movement. He embodied it to the degree that it could call to mind infinite possibility. Was he a bird or was he a man drowning. Perhaps both or neither. One never knew how a Cunningham work would feel until there, experiencing it in the moment.

The last I saw of Merce was probably in 1995 when I worked at the Union Square Greenmarket selling cut flowers. He used to come by once in a while to shop. He could not walk well and stopped often but he stood out vividly to me nontheless. In my memory, I see the twin towers in the background, Merce heading off with his purchases and thinking, wow, there goes one of the worlds greatest choreographers and I just sold him flowers. When I was first in Australia and presented an evening of my own work for the first time, the reviewer slammed the work for being old fashioned, "Like Merce Cunningham". I couldn't have imagined a better compliment.

Now I'm a mom living in Canberra, overweight and undernourished in the world of dance. It's confusing to be so removed from a life I once knew so well. But my life took another fork in the road and that is why I am who I am today. And there will be more forks, perhaps one that brings me back again.

Judith Mackrell of the Guardian, asks this question - Who will protect the legacies of Pina Bausch and Merce Cunningham?

And that brings me to another shocking discovery. You mean Pina Bausch has died too? The end of an era seems well and truly underway. I wish my husband and son could have seen these luminaries.

The Sunday Scan

2009-08-09T19:00:00.005+10:00

Me, NYC 1995

We are back! No we weren't in NYC. Just wishful thinking on my part.

I've yanked on my blogging boots tonight and am getting going again. We've been back for about 2 weeks. This past week was my birthday week and I've been working hard on relaxing for most of it. The Bubster made me a card and enjoyed hiding my presents around the house. I received a new coffee plunger, a tea pot, two books on gardening and a DVD, Sherlock Holmes - The Scarlet Claw, beautifully restored by the UCLA film and television archive. It really does look superb and the sound is flawless. The Hubster has been wanting to show this film to me for a long time because of the plot line; one of the characters pretends to be several different people. Sound interesting? Tracy, Kerrie?? LOL!

Before our eventfilled July, I'd been in the process of trying to reorder my online time. I'm sure all mothers are familiar with this scenario: the minute you go online, that special little someone in your life wants all your attention. I could be mopping the floor, doing the dishes, or any other ordinary thing without the least bit of interest coming my way. But the minute I go online, a masterful tactical defense is strategically launched; Operation Disruptus.

"Do you need a 'tiss mummy? How about a hudg? Watch me do a roll! What can I write on with these pens? What is that a picture of? I'm hundgry! Can you help me fold this? La la la la la! I'm hundgry! I need to use the toiylet! When's dinner? Can I throw this ball in here? I love you mummy, mmwa, mmwa kissy kiss. Can I sit on your lap? There's something in this shoe. I don't like these sockts. They make my feet all pointing and yucky. Are you done yet? It's cold in here! Can I watch TV?"

And on it goes. And goes.

It doesn't matter if I've gone to the trouble to set him up with something to do, Operation Disruptus is the bigger draw card. So, upon our return, the Bubster and I have been internet free during our day. We don't have much time left now before he goes to school for the whole day. I feel the crystals of time disappearing under my feet as I try to scurry up the crumbling bank. I just don't know where it all has gone. But that is a whole other post.

So, our current daytime events include the occasional hat making session:

Or a smashing stuff up with a hammer event:

Or practicing our snow plow on homemade ski's out of left over stuff from the hammer smashing event:Hey, we know how to rock and roll around here!

Coming attractions? We shall see!

Over and out

2009-07-13T23:49:00.007+10:00

Dinner Plain, Victoria

We've been away. We went on a holiday - one not work related. This is rare!

We joined forces with friends and rented a chalet at Dinner Plain, near Mt. Hotham Ski Resort. It was great! I've never done this before. I'm not an alpine skier. I did cross country when I was a teenager but never downhill; it was too risky for me as a professional dancer. One screw up and I'd be out of a career. I've never accepted an invitation to ski.

This trip happened at the right time in my life for me to feel that I could give it a go. So, I learned to downhill ski!I did it for another reason as well. Every year I learn something new for Søren, our son who died. I like to try to find things to learn that I can imagine he would have enjoyed. Last year, it was the banjo. I'm still working on that one and have years of learning to go!

Initially I felt a bit teary thinking of doing it for Søren. His 10th birthday is July 25th. I can't believe, had he lived, he would be 10 years old! To think of those little baby feet that never had the chance to become big gangly pre-teen feet, squeezed into huge ski boots. There are so many things to miss in a lifetime.

Once I gained more confidence, I felt better and learned that I can conquer a fear, honour my son and have fun, all at the same time.

Me, in blue, and my instructor, Dan.

The Bubster learned to ski as well. He went to ski school for 2 days of our holiday. He was too tired to do more. But by the second day, our 4 year old was skiing down the slope with the 6 and 8 year olds. I was so proud and so impressed. I love that he tried something new too. Maybe in the years to come, he will join me in my yearly learning endevours.

We will be away in Sydney now! But after our return, it's back to the sewing and making and crafting. :-) I miss my blog and blogmates!!

Latest bag

2009-06-22T23:19:00.006+10:00

This one I made last week. It's also from a Nicole Mallalieu pattern. I used this beautiful cotton fabric that was once a skirt of my mothers in the 1950's. I couldn't get a good photo of the inside - just not the right light and not the right setting. Must work on that.

But all in all, I'm pleased! This one is for me but more on the way as I improve my skills! I think I will try using a different kind of interfacing with my next bag. I had trouble getting it smooth.

New header!

2009-06-18T20:30:00.003+10:00

What do you think? It's one of my 'Playscape' photos.

I'm trying to do a bit of work on my blog layout. I plan to make some changes. I'd like 3 columns. How does one do that?

I've been very remiss here. I just haven't had any online time lately. I've gone into a Blog Fog. I keep trying to find my way to the computer so I can do some blogging!!!

More to come. Off to watch Mad Men.

The Sunday Scan (on Wed)

2009-06-03T23:07:00.007+10:00

My mother, brother Tedd, Aunt Harriet and cousin Slate.
1957ish.

This week, one of my favourite Aunt's died. She was a lovely and gracious woman who spoke in an even measured tone and would chuckle warmly at the antics of small children. She dressed impeccably in beautifully tailored clothing, cutting an imposing and elegant figure. One year for Christmas, she gave me the entire collection of Louisa May Alcott novels, leather bound. I was around 11 or 12. I remember stammering th th th thank you. I looked at the covers for the longest time before ever cracking one open. I still have the Christmas note in one of the books.

What I keep with me is a whole host of wonderful childhood memories. There are the weekends at my Aunt and Uncle's lake house where I remember the swing in the tree so close to the water that one could swing out over it. And the empty crooked house up the road that we would visit. And the water skiing. Christmas at her house included the huge game room in the basement and the huge St. Bernard out on the back porch who would lick my face horribly. She would chuckle, "Brandy won't hurt you!" Then there was the spooky organ in the dining room that could make really spooky sounds.

Sad times exist too. There was the morning I heard on the radio that my cousin had been killed. I couldn't believe it and just as I called to my mother, the phone rang. It was true. I staggered to school that day. I made it as far as the hallway outside the girls room before bursting into tears. Someone came to school and brought me to my aunts. I remember signing thank you notes. Then when 2 decades later my own son Soren died, she was the first to call and say, "Age does not matter to a parent." She understood.

The bubster's birth made her so happy.

I will miss her. It feels like the end of an era has begun.

2009-05-28T12:33:00.008+10:00

Photo linked to Amazon.

The bubster and I love this CD! Today, we had our own little jam session - him on his ukulele, and me on my banjo. We made up our own version of this song - Blow Boys Blow - a song about a Yankee liner, but bub's wanted it to be about pirate ships. And so:

A pirate ship came down the river, Blow boys blow.
The sails they shone like gold and silver, blow my sword boys blow!

And who do you think was the captain of her? Blow boys blow.
Why Redbones was the captain of her, blow my sword boys blow!

And what do you think they had for dinner? Blow boys blow.
Roasted pirates and their livers, blow my sword boys blow!

And how do you know she's a pirate vessel, blow boys blow.
Her skull and crossbones flow above her, blow my sword boy blow!

The Explorer bag - no. 2

2009-05-27T20:34:00.006+10:00

Well! I have just finished another Explorer bag. It's my first commission project. My neighbour across the road liked the Bubster's bag so much she asked me to make one for her to give as a present. :-) What can I say? I'm feeling pretty stoked.

I made a cloth strap this time, instead of using webbing. I'm adhering to my plan of not buying anything and using what I have already.

I'm liking this bag very much. Next bag I make will be a giveaway!

The Sunday Scan

2009-05-24T23:28:00.004+10:00

Me - nearly 5 years old.

I've a cold today so I didn't fire up the scanner. But I still wanted to share one from my Dad's archives. This is me on our front stoop, summertime in South Dakota no doubt. The bubster gives me the exact same expression. LOL Must be the age for it. :-)

Another Victorian Lace Shrug

2009-05-22T17:53:00.006+10:00

I've made another Victorian Lace Shrug. It's a present for my friend Sam. I showed it to her already and she loves it. It's so her. :-)

I'm very pleased with how it has turned out. The knitting is even and smooth. I think it looks authentic and right in the grey wool. It's such a great feeling of satisfaction when something turns out right! :-)

Time to pop it in the post! Can't wait!

Home again home again....

2009-05-19T10:33:00.007+10:00

Jiggity Jig. We had a nice time away. :-)

Did I ever show you the bubster's latest creation? Do you recall Monkey from Monkeytown? He made his friend Monkey a cowboy outfit out of tape and paper.

The bubster said, "You can make ANYTHING out of tape, mummy! ANYTHING!"

Monkey has a cowboy hat, 2 guns with holsters and a saddle for his giraffe. :-)

Home again now. Hopefully, I can do some work over here on my blog again. I want to do some rearranging. See you all as I work my way around!

An Antique Floral Tote

2009-05-11T21:59:00.005+10:00

I'm attempting to add photos to my blog from flickr, but I'm not exactly understanding why it is that I can't upload more than one photo to a single blog entry. Hmmm.

Anyway, here is my most recent tote. I'm very happy with it and feel I'm on the right track with this one. There are two outer pockets, just the right size to stash the morning paper. And three inner pockets - which you'd be able to see if I could upload more than one photo. Hmmmm.

Edited to add: I think I figured it out? Here is the other image....

Ok, there it is. :-) Small but oh well. If you want to see a larger photo. The images are on my flickr set in my side bar. I'm very excited about this tote. There will be MORE soon.

I will be away from my desk for the week. See you when I get back!

Patches

2009-05-11T21:26:00.002+10:00

Patches, originally uploaded by karinandmagnus.

In this economic downturn, I think we could all do with a few cool patches like this, don't you think?

I've managed to get 2 whole extra years out of these pants! At size 2, they still fit the bubster at 4 years old. And I think I can stretch them through the winter!

And he looks the cool dude too. :-)

The Sunday Scan

2009-05-04T22:15:00.003+10:00

A day late! Here are some photos of myself when I was in my Foundation Year at KCAI. It was 1982 probably. This workshop was Modular Units. The objective was to make modular unit clothing using nothing but paper. We could use no attaching devices - i.e. no tape, no string etc. Just paper. It was quite fun and quite challenging. One of my items was of course, a costume for dancing. It made a great sound when shimmying.

I also made a paper shawl which was put up for display in the local department store. That was fun.

Yesterday I attended for the first time a historical dance class at the Historical Dance Academy. It was entirely spur of the moment. Accept for the grumpy git who yelled at me because I didn't know what I was doing, it was fun! It seemed everyone else in class was interested in me and very encouraging. If I decide to get involved in this, I will probably need to make myself some costumes for the balls that they host.

Different than the above costume no doubt!

Cute but....

2009-05-01T18:06:00.005+10:00

Lincraft has in stock this incredibly cute sewing machine for kids. I think it is adorable. It reminds me of my grandmothers sewing room. Cute yes. But it is priced at $49.99. Personally, I think that is 20 dollars too much. If only it were priced at $25 -$30. I think I wouldn't feel so ripped off then. I keep looking at it whenever I go by. And each time I come back to the thought, it's just too overpriced for me.

I'd love to get the bubster a sewing machine. He thinks constantly about how things are constructed - whether that be in lego form, in stick form, in paper form, or fabric. Just last week he made a whole collection of guns using printers paper and tape. Goodness he was focused. Guns will do that I guess. He said, "You can make anything with tape, mommy! Look!" LOL

Imagine the possibilities if he had his own sewing machine. What kind of guns would he make then?? ;-) I dunno. I guess I will still keep looking around. There will be something that strikes as 'just right' eventually.

Silly sewing mistakes

2009-04-28T20:09:00.005+10:00

Have you ever made one of those silly sewing mistakes? Come on, fess up. :-)

Here is mine for today:I've been working on some totes. I thought it was time. So I'm sewing along, la la la. Yes, it's fun. Imagine what I discovered upon completing the bag body?? Can you guess?

Yes, it's true. I discovered that the pocket has been sewn on upside down. Who did that?? Certainly not me! Well, ok. It was me. And I'd not even had a glass of wine or anything! I do have a very distracting 4 year old though, does that count?

So I went in search of my seam ripper. Do you suppose it was where it should be? No, of course not. And what about the extra ones I keep on hand. AWOL. It required about a 20 minute search through everything twice. Found it on the floor under the ironing board? How did it get there? I always put it back. Every time! (Hmmmm........I've already mentioned the distracting 4 year old....)

I couldn't face removing it completely so I unpicked the top edge and attached the lower edge. Unfortunately, the sewing does not measure up to my standards. Oh well! I'll keep this one then! Next one for blog giveaway. And I've learned a great lesson. All good in the end.

What has been your crazy mishap of late?

The Sunday Scan

2009-04-26T16:30:00.008+10:00

I have a whole world of images that need scanning. Photos from my childhood, from the Hubsters childhood, family photos, slides, artwork. You name it, I've got it!

I've decided to start a weekly series called "The Sunday Scan". I think if I dedicate a time in which to do my scanning, I may have better luck achieving some results! This is my attempt at forward planning. LOL

So, for today's Sunday Scan - a painting from the archives.

Musty in the Attic, says DC. 1985

I painted this during my final year at KCAI, sometime in 1985. The title is compliments of an old boyfriend. I remember rolling my eyes at his suggestion but also thought it was pretty spot on. I had been interested in creating a decrepit surface, dusty and worn. I used a paint brush in the prelimary stages but after that, heavily worked the surface with a pallet knife, carving into the paint and gouging it. My colour pallet remained intentionally muted and drab.

I remember thoroughly enjoying the process for this painting. It was a stepping stone towards future work for me.

If you have some scanning to do as well, why not join me in "The Sunday Scan".

P.S. Dust your slides first. I'm terrible about remembering that!!!

Another Haiku

2009-04-24T16:27:00.002+10:00

Hey Kel. I shared this one with my brother recently, who also loves to do Haiku poems!

Food on the table
4 years old and disgusted
Is that chicken poo?

:-)

The knitting is out

2009-04-21T19:38:00.004+10:00

The knitting is out.
Cooler, blustery. Some rain.
Autumn. Click, click, click.

In praise of sticks

2009-04-11T09:13:00.005+10:00

The bubster and his stick hut. Age 3 - 2008

The Hubster and I enjoy a date morning most weeks. On many a Wednesday morning, you will find us in the comfy chairs at Borders bookstore, sipping our latte's and perusing the magazines. (or working if you are the Hubster)

This week I had a look at American Craft Magazine. One of the feature articles was on the work of Gyongy Laky. Wow! Wow again! I'm in love!

A quote: "Twigs are among the most beautiful linear elements in existence." Gyongy Laky.

The bubster understands this well. Every day provides him with the opportunity to explore, examine and arrange sticks. He loves sticks. And I love that he loves sticks. It's so cool to be able to watch someone examine and explore!! Maybe this is how Gyongy Laky got started. :-)

Making his stick hut. Age 3 - 2008.

His stick lines. Sometimes he calls them sculptures, sometimes he calls them rooms.

Flashback Friday +

2009-04-09T22:30:00.007+10:00

Foundation Year. 1982 - Kansas City Art Institute.

I painted this in my first year at art school when I participated in the workshop - Self Portrait a Day. As the title would suggest, we were required to paint a self portrait each day. I'm not remembering precisely but I think the workshop lasted 6 weeks. It was the most difficult and the most fun I had that year.

It's fun to think back on all that energy and drive of youth. I miss those open ended opportunities in my life now.

Lately I've reconnected with many old friends from art school on Facebook. I had originally signed on so my brother and I could communicate easily and have a laugh, not considering how many people could be potentially contactable by being 'out there'. Stumbling upon long lost friends has been incredible, intoxicating and intimidating all at once. I enjoy it yet it brings up some unexpected feelings.

Peeking into the lives of old friends has been like a window into mine. I'm aware that the trajectory of my life has been extraordinarily unusual. I feel reticent about sharing this on Facebook, to make transparent the details of my past decade+. It's not the right medium. It's a broadcast medium. Status reports are like the headlines from the days newspaper. It's not the right place to broadcast, "Today is the anniversary of the death of our daughter Heloise."It's a fun place. I get that. And so I have fun. I laugh a lot. I open the window, let the breeze in and enjoy myself.

Yet, how do I explain the past 12 years? Should anyone ask, how can I effectively explain why I am not more than what I am? How does one explain how incapacitating deep grief can be, how there is no quick fix and how it looks like you are doing nothing, looks like you are 'wallowing' but that is because there is no fixative. Not only does one not know how to put the pieces back together, because who knows how to do something they've never done before, but one has to make their own glue out of spit and tears.

How do I explain what it felt like to put my child in a coffin with their name on it, their name written in gold letters right on the top of it, and how it might take several years to process that? For each child. How do I explain that I am the larger size that I am because I've been pregnant 8 times so you know, one gets a bit big when one is pregnant as often as that but it isn't immediately evident since there is only one child in all the photos so I've only been pregnant once, right? And grief adds padding for protection. How do I explain that while I understand the desire to help, I don't need a solution because I've done the work already. A philosophical reason for why this happened is not necessary. I'm a realist, I know the answer. A nod of the head is simple and good.

And of course, quite possibly others are feeling this way too. Maybe there are events in their lives that are unexplainable too. Everyone has boulders chucked onto their path. No one gets away. I am seeing them as they are seeing me; without the heavy details. And that is ok. It's really all ok. Every kind of interaction has it's place.

Passing on a tip

2009-04-06T21:33:00.004+10:00

So, you are in your 40's, feeling fat and old and utterly unattractive. Gravity has done strange things to your neck, you've got that extra 15 kilos (yes! - 15! and that is a conservative number if you think about it realistically) and it's not shifting and it all just feels futile.

And to top it off, your hair looks like shit too.

You exhale a defeated sigh, then walk outside to where your 4 year old son is playing in his sandbox. He looks up. A sweet smile spreads across his pure cherub face and with a voice of angelic sincerity, he beams warmly:

"Oh mummy. You look so 'wovewly' today."

Then he gets up and comes and gives you a biggggggggggg hug. And goes back to playing.

What do you do?

You summon up every particle of will power and overcome the bubbling urge to negate, to shrug off his admiration, to correct his glaring oversight of all your failings and instead, graciously say, "Why thank you, mate." And you smile back.

Never tell a child they are wrong about something so pure as their love for you. No matter how crappy you look. They can see us. The mirror can't.

Now, to do the same when the Hubster comments favourably! Hey, I don't claim to have it all figured out. ;-)

Meet 'The Explorer Bag'

2009-03-31T20:49:00.006+11:00

I made my first proper bag yesterday. A while back I purchased this pattern at our local fabric store and have been itching to get going on it. This fabulous lady, Nicole Mallalieu, the creator of the pattern, does some incredible work! I've been salivating for quite some time now. Quietly. In the sanctity my own home.

I just love the details and tips she shares. Very helpful! It might be a while before I reach a high level of expertise but I think I did a pretty good job first time around!

What I did for the Explorer Bag is reduce the size of the pattern, add a few extra pockets on the inside, and create a button loop. I figure buttoning is a good thing to practice if you are a 4 year old boy. I made the lining out of ripstop nylon (had it around the joint) so that it could be somewhat waterproof for all those wet sticks and squishy things that young explorers may wish to save. The straps are from an old bag I deconstructed. It's called 'upcycling' I hear. Sounds a little more fun and fashionable that 'recycling' don't you think?

The outer fabric is from my NYC stash.

The Bubster loves his bag. This is what he kept in it today:

I'm unsure as to how the pastry brush comes in handy when you are an explorer. But certainly, the felt daggers are essential and the plastic toast is necessary for when the munchies hit. I don't even have to explain the water pistol's position of importance in this collection, do I?

And we must not forget our map! Even if it is a map of Wellington, New Zealand!

I realized today, that the first time I tried to make a bag, I was in 9th grade. My teacher gave me a C- because she thought it was mostly made by my mother. Just goes to show you how powerful teachers can be!! And not always in a good way!

My impetus for making an Explorer Bag is the sad and lonely fact that young boys get the shaft when it comes to cool accessories. I'm sorry, but Thomas the Tank Engine bags are just not for us (me). So darn it, I guess I am required to take matters into my own hands, so to speak. I'm pleased though!

I'm hoping to make more of these in time. I'd love to give some away on my blog so I can get some feedback!

The bubster's first sewing creation

2009-03-30T23:14:00.004+11:00

The bubster loves gloves. Here he is at 20 months, working out in the garden wearing one of his earliest pairs of gloves:
Rather large-ish that pair..... But no matter, if there is a pair of gloves around, he will claim ownership.

This weekend, he decided that he wanted to make himself a pair of gloves. So he went under the sink and got out a Chux Super Wipe and declares, "This is what I'll use to make myself a pair of gloves. Don't you think it's a good idea, Mummy??" How could I say otherwise!

So he sits down at his little table and starts cutting. He first thinks that maybe he will make the fingers by stabbing the cloth with a fork. I explain how that will make fingerless gloves not gloves with fingers. Oh....Well then, that won't do. He wants fingers..... hmmm.......

So I explain how we could trace around his hand and cut out two pieces, one for the top of his hand and the other for the bottom. We need two pieces for each glove. He decides I'm probably right about that, it seems a good approach and we proceed.

Once we have finished tracing, I explain how we need to leave a margin of fabric around the tracing so that we have room to sew the pieces together. He grasps the concept and starts cutting. He carefully cuts out his pairs, concentrating very hard on the precision. Then when he is finished he announces, "I'm ready for a needle, Mummy. I need a needle." So I get him my big blunt tapestry needle. He remarks that it is 'just like the needle at school!'

He then, with great concentration and effort, proceeds to sew up the edges. He does a really damn good job, even if I do say so myself. I was impressed. He got tired halfway through so I finished the second glove for him. I was dying to take some photos of him but I didn't want to disturb his concentration. Just picture if you will, a little adorable blond haired boy, 4 years old, sitting at his little table, feet crossed, carefully and steadily drawing a needle through some work.

Perfect.

And here are the gloves!

Art. What do ya do with the stuff?

2009-03-24T21:25:00.005+11:00

Life drawing. 2001.
Duration: 1 hour, 15 minutes. Charcoal and conte crayon on brown craft paper.
Size: 103cm X 76 cm. Approximately.
Sad fact: Was not able to fit hand in on top, despite the monster size. Damn!
Feelings about it: I think it turned out well despite the hand issue. I've always liked it. I enjoyed knocking it out in a whirlwind frenzy.
Exhibition history: Hung in Waverley Art Prize.
Where it currently resides: Under bed collecting dust bunnies. Damn!

So people. What does one do with art like this?? I can't really afford to frame it right now. No portfolio is large enough to hold it. I'm not with a gallery so I have no clients. I'd love for it to be up but don't really have the house/wall for it. I'd love for someone to love it as much as me.

What are your thoughts and opinions on the matter. If you are a maker of things, what do you do with your work once it is finished. Do you give things away to make room for new? Sell them? Do you have a big house capable of proper storage?

Curious in Canberra. All responses welcome!

The little cowboy

2009-03-20T15:27:00.004+11:00

Bubster: "Mommy! Can I watch this movie? I just LOVE this movie. It's the best movie ever. It's better that warm ice!"

Warm ice?

Wow, that does sound good! I guess the Bubster doesn't know about the 'sliced bread' analogy. Or maybe he does and chose warm ice as even better than that!

A 4 year old who walks around like John Wayne, water pistol shoved down his pants, is quite funny indeed. A purple yoga bolster as a horse is pretty funny too.

The male mind in relation to the toilet

2009-03-18T15:02:00.008+11:00

My 4 year old tag-a-long follows me to the toilet. Nothing new there.

Bubster: "Mummy, where did that green thing on the side of the 'toiyet' come from?"
Me: "I got it at the supermarket. It is to help keep the toilet a bit cleaner. It gets very messy and dirty."
Bubster: "What is it?"
Me: "It's a cleaner that works when one flushes. It helps keep the toilet fresh."
Bubster considers that.

Then: "If I wee'd on it, it probably wouldn't be so fresh anymore, would it."
Me: "Probably not."

Silence. Sort of.......
Me: "What are you doing, mate?"
Bubster: "Weeing on it! I want it's freshness to be destroyed-ed."

And thus begins the lifelong battle of womankind. The battle to keep the toilet clean. My mother offered this advice to 19 year old me upon my first foray into living with my male house mates during art school, "Make sure you clean the toilet. Men are a bit messy."

Yep. So far so true.

Oh and, how can a four year old know already about trying to write his name with his wee? Even before he can write? This week I was summoned to see the effort. "Mummy look! I wrote my name with my wee!!" So proud he was.

Instead of it being in snow like where I grew up, it was in the mulch.

Yep.

We are back!

2009-03-13T21:10:00.003+11:00

Kieron's birthday hat; notice the shooting flames from his head.....

We are back this week, but I haven't been able to put on my blogging shoes yet. Just not getting myself organized I guess. But I did want to post a few photos of the Canberra Balloon Festival which has been happening this week. We got up early yesterday and went down. We are thinking of doing the same again tomorrow morning. It's just so cool to watch them inflate and then float away! For your pleasure:

Away from my desk

2009-02-18T01:06:00.002+11:00

Hey friends, we will be away for a bit, so no blog updates here from me for a few weeks!

Just in a packing and getting ready frenzy the past few days. Trying to use up stuff from the fridge. Today I successfully used the stash of pears and some carrots to make some quite splendid muffins. Even the bubster, AKA 'the Fusster', liked them. He ate 2!

I was trying to make a last minute project tonight, as one does, instead of iron and pack. Hey, there's always tomorrow right?

Until then.

And the winner is!!!!

2009-02-14T20:50:00.003+11:00

Kara! Of 1,000 Faces of Mother Henna!

Congratulations, Kara! Whoo hoo!! :-) :-)

I'll be contacting you for your postal address! Hee hee! I'm very happy to ship to WA!

Stories

2009-02-14T00:14:00.005+11:00

I've been meaning to post a typical story as told by the Bubster. My goal is to illustrate these stories of his. I think they are wonderfully surreal. Some of you have heard this one already. :-)

As told to me during our walk home from the doctors one day.
December 08. Bubster - just 4.

In relationship to nothing in particular, the Bubster chimes:

"Oh yes, that reminds me of the time I went to the theatre with my 'fwiend', Monkey. (pronounced - Montkey) I went with all my fwiends - Big Bear, Montkey, Tedd, Roku - and we all sat down in our own seats to watch the show and it was all full of other boys and their fwiends and 'nanimals' and we watched dancing and singing and after the show we had 'take' (cake) and watched TV! I was 'inerstereted' (interested) in the 'take' because it wasn't chocolate 'take' like I thought it would be but it was wine 'take'!"

I ask, "Oh wow, when was this?"

"Oh! It was on the 16th of 'tristmas' (Christmas). We had to go to Montkeytown to see it. It started 15 minutes after the sun settleded. You weren't there. Neither was 'Tieron' (that's daddy). My fwiends and nanimals lookeded after me. You missed out. Too bad!"

I say, "Yeah, gee. It sounds like it was a pretty good show will all that dancing."

"Oh yes. Very good. It all happened just before the 'Dearthquake'."

Me, "Oh, there was an earthquake?"

"Oh yes. It was a big dearthquake and we all had to run out of the theatre before it came falling downed on us. Lots of other montkey's jumped in cabs and on motercycles and stuff, some even flew away! but some just had to run behind. Some thought they could survived and kill the deathquake but they couldn't so they dieded. Then a rocktet flew over and some men in the rocktet saw the deartquake in Montkeytown and so they landed and jumped out to help! One man had a cigarette but all the others just wore hats. They picked up all the montkeys and then flew in their rocktet to Sydney. All but one montkey. My fwiend, montkey, they gave to me! The dearthquake never ended but they were all safe! And that is the end! Isn't that inerstereting?"

Me, "Oh wow sure is. How frightening."

"Yeah." Shrugs.

Then he chimes, "Did you know that poo talks??"

And so it goes.............

Blog giveaway ends tomorrow!

2009-02-13T20:50:00.004+11:00

Letting everyone know, my blog giveaway ends tomorrow for Valentines Day. :-)

If you haven't already signed on but wanted to, hop on board! Since we are starting small, I'll have the Bubster pick a number from a hat and will announce the winner tomorrow evening!

I have more bags planned and in the cutting stage, a variety of things including little boy carry bags. Boys kind of get the shaft when it comes to bag options, don't you think? I mean, it can't all be Thomas the Tank Engine, can it? ;-)

We will be going to New Zealand for 2 weeks from mid week so I will begin my next giveaway in March. I am very excited about giveaways.........very.

And a question for the crafters out there; how do you use up your tiniest of scraps?

Hee hee!

2009-02-05T22:03:00.004+11:00

Thank you all for the wonderful comments!

I look forward to getting around to all of your blogs. For those commenting on my lunch post - we had almost the exact same dialogue today, involving ham, avocado and crackers. LOL!!!

"Is that avocado you are putting on there??" Etc, etc.......

On another note, I am finally getting back to my adoption application. What adoption? Oh, I probably have never mentioned it before. Mainly that is because I don't feel much optimism about the process. We are very slow - for reasons too many to name. Anyway.........

I have to rewrite my 'life story' because we have to start the entire process all over in the ACT. We completed our first application in NSW but were discouraged from filing because of the move. And as you'd expect, (or not expect as the case may be) the entire adoption application is entirely different between states. Long story there but anyway.

This question stands out to me today:

What role will you fill as a parent?

Ummmmm. Hmmmmmmmm......... The role of MOTHER perhaps??? Yeah thats it! Mother. And my husband will play the role of father. Yeah. Or should it be the other way around.... Hmm.....

I mean really. Who writes these things???

Lunch time

2009-02-03T23:27:00.003+11:00

The bubster: I'm hundry (hungry)! Is it morning tea time, is it lunch time yet??
Me: It's lunch time, mate.
Bubster: Well I want a sandwich! A ham sandwich. With mayonnaise. And butter.
Me: Ok!
Bubster: Is it ham? I want ham. And mayonnaise.

A moment passes.........

Bubster: And butter. Don't forget the butter.
Me: I won't, mate. I heard you.
Bubster: Are you putting on the mayonnaise now?
Me (sigh): Yes. I am.
Bubster: And the butter? Don't forget the butter!
Me (sigh sigh): I won't, mate. I'm remembering.
Bubster: It's a HAM sandwich right? With mayonnaise??
Me: sigh.......
Bubster: And butter of 'tourse (course)??
Me: Of course!
Bubster: Ok good. That's what I want.
Me: I know!

(I mean I really really know!! Really!)

Bubster: Oh! And I want the 'trusts (crusts) cut off. Ok mommy?
Me: Of course.

Pause.
Me: Anything else??
Bubster: Oh no! This is good!

Proceeds to eat it all up, every crumb.

Bubster: I want another one! With Ham! And mayonnaise! And butter of 'tourse!
Me: sigh......................

My first giveaway!

2009-01-31T12:41:00.007+11:00

Blogtoberfest really opened my eyes to the beauty of the blog giveaway. There were so many great items to win! I felt very lucky to have won a few.

So, I too want to spread the love with a Valentines Day giveaway. Not only will it be fun, it will help me to finally deal with some of my off cuts that I've been saving for way too long. My hope is to do a giveaway a month. We shall see!First up are these 3 small drawstring bags, 100% cotton.
Dimensions approximately 7 inches X 9 1/2 inches.

These were made using off cuts that I've saved from NYC, when I worked with a childrens wear designer. Yes, I've kept them for all those years. (insert googly eyed guy here) Most of my scraps are off cuts from this time in my life. I hated to see those lovely bits going to waste! I even posted boxes off to my mother in South Dakota for her Lutheran quilters organization. LOL

Pictured below are a few ways these bags are used in our house:

They make excellent storage for our cowboy and indian collection. Keeps them separated from the pirate collection! And our felt food and felt puppet collection love their home.
(cowboys, pirates and felt food not included in giveaway!)

The bags go easily into a backpack or tote for those days out around town with a little person or big person.

Giveaway ends Saturday, 14th February 09! All you have to do is leave a response to this post and you are in. I'll do a random draw and announce the winner on Valentines Day!

Don't be shy, leave a reply! ;-)

Five Questions

2009-01-30T22:29:00.006+11:00

Me and Muhammad, 'at work' in the Greenmarket, NYC; summer1995.

Around Christmas, my friend Kerrie at Life at Number 14 interviewed me as part of a meme with a difference.

It's time for me to follow through! Here is the interview:

1. You have lived in a number of places worldwide...do you have a place that feels like your spiritual home..??
I feel a very strong connection with New York City. I met my husband there on the corner of Thompson and Grand. :-) I loved living there. I felt a sense of freedom and liveliness that I've never felt anywhere else. I miss walking out the door and seeing where the energy takes you.

It was not an easy life; I was the ubiquitous 'starving artist' having fun in my little rundown shack of a west village apartment with my 3 other roommates. The downstairs neighbours would have mad loud parties all night long followed by mad naked orgies spilling out into the hallway. And they were the sorority girls! But I loved it. Where else can one see a Hal Hartley film followed by a discussion led by Hal Hartley himself! And when I wanted out, all I had to do was hop on the train to the mountains for a beautiful visit with my Aunt and Uncle.

NYC is amazing. You can literally buy a hammer in the middle of the night there. When I first moved to Canberra from NYC, I was in culture shock and would offer up that hammer joke often, to whoever would listen. At that time, the shops in Canberra closed at 5:00pm. I'd barely started my day by then!

I sometimes feel that we'd move back to NYC in a heartbeat but it may be a part of my bygone years now. I'd need more money now, that is for sure. I've been softened by a little more wealth and a lot less exercise.

2. What is it about Blogging that appeals to you..??

Initially, I was unsure about blogs. I thought that having a blog meant I'd have to write interesting or meaningful things all the time and I was pretty sure I wasn't that clever. I didn't know what my blog would say. I could write exclusively about grieving, but I already had other places on the net to do that.

Then when I quietly started one and started looking around (I still am learning how to use this thing!) I found a whole world of crafters. So many people making so many beautiful and clever things! I feel it was just the kind of injection I needed to inspire the artist part of myself that has been neglected. That is why my blog is called Sum of Mum. I wanted to convey that there were many parts to me. It feels like one of the first places on the net where I can share all of me.

3. Parenting is both a joy and a trial, often within a five minute span. Tell me about your greatest parenting joys...

Lately the bubster has been giving me long long hugs and saying, "I just wuv you mummy, so so much!!!" That is a beautiful pure feeling. It's those moments where I am not hassled by something else, a need or a desire to be somewhere else, those moments where we just be. I love those. It's a true and constant exercise in being in the moment.

4. ...and your greatest parenting trials...

Being in the moment. LOL!! Time moves so quickly that I find the growing up part difficult. I'd like to have him stay little for a wee bit longer. I'd like to manage our time better so that we can flow more. I find it hard to balance the things I want to do with the things he wants me to do. LOL I have to tell myself - let it go - because before I know it, he will be all grown up. That song by Cat Stevens really says it all.

5. What is on your "To Do" list..??

Everything. LOL! I'll have to live to be 110. :-) Traveling more. One of the benefits of being married to an academic is the opportunity for Sabbaticals. We've traveled quite a bit already. If the bubster is to be our only child (not how we wanted it but I don't get to make the rules) then traveling with him is quite feasible. I try to think of it as something we can give him as an only child.

My immediate "to do" list is about organization. I want to reduce our stuff and as part of that, I will be going through all my fabric and scraps. Making stuff is the result of that I hope! Exercise is also a big one on my list. I want to get back into some sort of shape. As a former dancer, I know that muscle tone supports emotional tone and stamina. Energy would be wonderful! Along with this goes our desire to learn more about macrobiotic and Japanese cooking so that we can feed our bodies better. I've recently discovered how wonderful agedashitofu is. Wow!!

Another thing I want to explore is illustrating the bubsters stories. I think that would be so fun for him to look back on his stories with full illustrations. He tells some doozies!!

-------------
So that is me! Want to be part of it?

Follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation, a link to this post and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Grinning away

2009-01-30T21:57:00.001+11:00

Check out Kel's Friday Haiku. Hee hee!!!

This morning

2009-01-29T08:39:00.001+11:00

The bubster proclaimed:

"The sun clumps up like a bunch of marching apples."

Hey Kel, can that be turned into a haiku poem?

:-)

2009-01-27T22:21:00.003+11:00

I took few photos this trip away. But this little band of warriors set adrift one hot afternoon across our hotel room floor made me smile. It's amazing how much fun a $4 dollar bag of 'men' can be for a little boy. :-)

Been away!!!

2009-01-27T12:26:00.003+11:00

Been away folks! I didn't manage a post before we went to Sydney. We stayed at Coogee Beach for 2 weeks while the Hubster worked non-stop with his co-author. It seemed a very fruitful work trip for him which is great. I love when he feels excited about his research.

The bubster and I pretty much just relaxed.

I have some plans for my blog this year. I want to do some giveaways very soon. Lots of them! So if you are interested, stay tuned. I'm looking forward to this. :-)

Back later. Gotta get to the garden and such today. Perhaps some grocery shopping too? Naw! I'm still holidaying!!! :-) Perhaps a bit of blog surfing instead! I've missed much me thinks!

"Santa is really good at his job"

2009-01-05T20:22:00.010+11:00

We tried to be corporate free this Christmas but with limited success. Dealing with pneumonia didn't help. Next year should be better in that I hope to have more preparation. It takes me so long to make stuff these days!

Usually we steer clear of the franchise toys - Bob the Builder etc. Lego is another matter. The bubster loves Lego.

Months ago, I purchased this set:It's a great set, expensive (if you ask me) but really fun. I decided this would be from Santa.

December arrives and we are out shopping when who should we see but Santa. The Bubster sat on his lap and they chatted for a bit. I noticed that Santa seemed bemused by something. Later, I asked the Bubster if he told Santa what he wanted for Christmas. "Oh yes! I told him I wanted a pair of gardening gloves!" Ok, that explains it then. This rather humble gift suggestion would have come as quite a change from the usual!

Christmas comes. Santa leaves his big pressie in the hall for Bub. When he sees it his eyes bug out. He opens it and is totally stunned. Wow................. We put it together and play for a long time before he thinks about the other pressies.

Later on he comes up to me and drapes himself around me, gives me a big hug and says, "You know, Santa is really good at his job. He knew just what I like! This is the perfect present. How did he know that I've wanted this for my whole entire lifes entirety??? I'm going to play with this every day of my lifes." Oh my god, it was all I could do to hold it together and not bust.........

Over December, he's been watching Santa Claus is Coming to Town like it's a documentary film. Then, a few days ago he says, "I've been wondering....... why it is that Santa didn't bring me those gloves... It's what I asked for. How come he got me something different to what I asked??"

He's a thinking man.

I said, "Well, I suspect that he knew that you already had 4 pairs. He probably sent out some elves to check out what you got for your birthday and they took note of your newest pair from Grandma." He's not convinced. I say, "Perhaps he just simply wanted to get you something bigger than gloves. But I'm sure if you asked him again next year, he'll remember." He agreed, "Ok."

Next year, Santa has to lift his game and listen to the small requests as well! Duh!!

2009-01-04T09:26:00.009+11:00

Dear Imogen,

Your 8th birthday was quiet this year. Our opportunities to honour you were limited. Your little brother had a busy schedule of x-ray and doctors appointment. (He's good - still pneumonia but clearing) We visited the zoo and I stood for a long time looking at the tiger. Big, beautiful, quiet. He, in his own quiet space. I, in mine.

I'm repeatedly struck by the quiet. It's not the big red hot volcanic quiet of before, it's more green now, of the wind through trees variety. Red or green, it still makes an impact. Your absence is observed.

No little girl running around. No sisters running around. No big brothers. No sibling interactions. No chatter. And no one remembering this, no one thinking about this with us. It's all a thing of the past now. Right?

Of course the quiet would be so much more ear piercing if Magnus were also not here. We get to have some noise after all. I love the noise. But still..........you know............it's just...........not noisy enough. And I'd like someone else to be here arguing with Magnus instead of that job always falling to me. I'm positive you would have done the job quite well.

Two incidents occurred. The first was at the Hardware store. I usually let your little brother explore stuff. He was quite interested in the plumbing pipes and connectors this visit. So as he examined them (I was down the row a bit) a family strolled by. 2 parents, 3 boys. The middle boy around Magnus's age, chimed, "Is that boy lost?" His mother said, "Oh no, that's his mother over there!" I smiled. She turned to me and smiled back. Then chuckling, she said, "He's been lost recently. So he's thinking about it alot." I chuckled and said, "Oh a wanderer. Yep, I understand." She chuckled and said, "It was easy when we just had the one. Much harder now with 3!" And just like that. Slice. The scar received it's incision. I was on the outside looking in. I nodded but made no comment in return because what is there to say. I suppose she is right. After all.

The other occurred at the New Years party at the neighbours. While chatting with the dad next door, he was commenting on how different Christmas was this year because their boys are now teens. "Sometimes, when they are both at sleepovers or at camp, we find it so quiet. It's a glimpse I guess of what is to come when they move from home. The quiet." It was hurting him, thinking about it. I can tell he loves being a dad. I wanted to say, "I know something about quiet too." But I didn't. It was his moment to share. Mine is yet to come. He wanted to convey how important it is to not miss a minute of a child growing up because it goes by so quickly. I simply said, "Boy don't I know it. It's something very noticeable to me." My minds unspoken thought was - because one day they might not be here anymore. For good. Creating a permanent quiet empty place.

What would 8 look like for you, Imogen? A tiny girl no doubt. Miniature. My archetypal image of you is with a huge, thick book under your arm (regular sized for us); tiny in form, big in mind. We'd have to cut a special door for you into our big doors so that you could come and go as you pleased. Maybe we'd paint it purple or something. I once said this to one of your nurses and she had a good laugh. I wonder if she remembers our hopes and dreams for you, planning your independence even then, planning your purple door. I always said you had a mind of your own and you would be the one to decide your fate. I still hold to this thought.

A friend tells me from time to time that she can sometimes see a little white haired girl bouncing around after Magnus. Of course you would. I have no doubt that if anyone could make this happen it would be you. Maybe one day, I will see too. Happy Birthday to you. Send me some noise.

Love,
Mummy

Conversation snippet

2008-12-31T10:36:00.002+11:00

This little guy can be so funny and charming. This is what I overheard this morning:

Bubster: "Why do you use 'degogerented' (deodorant)?"
Daddy: "Well so I can smell nice!"
Bubster: "You mean like pudding or chocolate cake?"

Ha ha ha!! A new Calvin Klein fragrance for dads perhaps?

Happy Christmas Everyone

2008-12-26T00:16:00.002+11:00

Baby Jesus has arrived! Merry Christmas Everyone!

Mary and Joseph

2008-12-23T21:42:00.003+11:00

The bubster arranged them tonight. They are hugging.

Joseph arrives

2008-12-23T00:30:00.004+11:00

Joseph arrives.

Mary looks pleased.

And more stars in the sky!

Mary's Star Walk, Day 19

2008-12-19T09:41:00.003+11:00

Some new characters........

Getting closer.............

And closer.................

Pneumonia

2008-12-17T09:40:00.005+11:00

Well, the bubster has pneumonia. So far we are managing at home. We've been trying to sort out what has been ailing him for over a month with no success. Hopefully, he will now get better.

He's not too keen on taking medicine as you can imagine. After our last discussion - the one about how mummy and daddy want to help but if he won't let us we would have to find someone else who could and that would be at the hospital.

He said hmmmmm, he'd have to think about it.

I shouldn't do this to myself.

2008-12-15T21:28:00.005+11:00

Out of the blue, I decided to look at property in the area that we currently live. As our initial move from Sydney is for a 2 year contract, we currently rent and do not know if we will be in Canberra permanently. So why look? (Don't do it, don't look!)

I really love this place (not all the white, but that's changeable!). We went to the inspection over the weekend and I could see us living there so easily. There is no backyard (which has been a fun change in our current digs) but there is green space out the front door. The bike path is literally out the front door and it goes directly to Magnus' school. Door to door without a single road. Perfect!

Why did I do it. I wouldn't even know it exists if I hadn't looked! Now I can't stop thinking about it. The price is not ideal, yet all things are negotiable. Most likely, we will be returning to Sydney. So it's all a bit of a moot point I guess.

I'm hoping the property market becomes more possible for us in the near future. We'd need some serious price drops though. Plus, if we ever (finally) get our adoption application in, we won't have any money for a deposit anyway since it will cost us $20,000/$30,000+ buck-a-roo's to accomplish the impossible. International adoption (as an Australian) is just about as impossible as coming up with a house deposit, I reckon.

Oh well. Money schmoney right?

You all know what you can get me for Christmas! LOL

Mary's Star Walk, Day 11

2008-12-11T21:22:00.002+11:00

A sheep comes to the stable.